Do you remember a time before the internet? We can't either but let's just say hypothetically there was no internet. No e-mail, no news websites and certainly no Facebook. 

Ah Facebook. The website that has been helping us connect with people we didn't purposefully connect with for a multitude of reasons has taken a life of its own. When my parents started asking about it (and subsequently, and horrifyingly at times, using it), I knew something had hit the mainstream.

Burger King made you defriend ten people for a Whopper. How many will you defriend for some privacy? I was talking to the MeritBuilder team about our new Facebook page (Yes, that's a plug. Check it out!) and we were joking about how Facebook sometimes connects us to people we really weren't interested in connecting with but felt pressured to anyway. 

Of course, my mind turned straight to the workplace and the sometimes precarious relationship Facebook plays in office politics. Who should you friend at work:

• People who ask to be friends with you?
• Only people you hang out with outside of work?
• Everyone but your boss?
• Nobody at work? 

And sometimes even worse: if you've decided to friend someone and then decide to defriend them. Do you tell them? Do you hope they don't find out?

If you leave a job, do you defriend the coworkers you don't have much of a relationship with? What if you leave for a competitor? Does your new boss want you to cut ties on your Facebook account?

The reason I referenced pre-internet history is because we didn't deal with this ten years ago and it adds a new wrinkle to HR people looking to properly manage issues that crop up due to new technology. When you left a job in the past, you mostly left it behind with perhaps a few phone calls or a visit. Now? I have 30 people from previous jobs that are on my Facebook account. 

As a manager, you love to see people connecting with fellow employees outside of work hours but how do you manage it when issues come into the workplace? Facebook isn't the only culprit but it expands the reach of outside of work relationships. Here are a couple of tips I use:

1. Set a personal policy and be consistent - I use Facebook as a networking tool so I'll connect with most people who I want to stay in touch with at a glance. I put people into categories (so, for example, I don't miss something my wife puts up). Others use it for personal reasons and don't want to connect with people outside a tight circle of friends. Neither is right or wrong but you can help yourself by staying consistent.
2. Understand other people have different uses for Facebook - Since I like to connect to many people, I get rejected more than most. I understand that people might not want to connect with me for a variety of reasons and that their usage of Facebook is just as relevant as mine. If someone doesn't want to connect with you, respect that.
3. Be honest with people and stay true - If you have rejected a friend request or defriended someone, be prepared to possibly hear from them about it. Just be up front about it such as saying "I really only use Facebook to connect to my family and personal friends" or "I'd rather not connect with you on Facebook. I hope you understand it is not anything personal." Remember, it is your account and it is ultimately your decision.

What do you think? How do you deal with Facebook friending and defriending in the workplace?